eFinancialCareers

In which Mr ABS discovers what it means to have a pleasant PA and is blanked by former banking colleagues. The first thing that has struck me on the buy-side is that the PAs are far more helpful than they are in banks. Sorry if you expected some deeper analysis on the conceptual differences between banks and investment funds or misplaced comments on the physical appearance of the PAs. But then... Read more

In which Mr ABS takes up a temporary position and turns to gambling. My Gentleman Club’s job lead proved good and I will shortly be starting not quite what I would call a job, but a new assignment. As far as I’m aware, I’m part of a new breed. I’ve met IT contractors but never have I had the pleasure of meeting an ABS contractor. What does this mean? I’m not... Read more

Mr ABS discovers that the murky field of employment law is surprisingly lucrative. This week I had the unpleasant experience of opening the bill from the law firm I consulted after I was made redundant. The lawyer I consulted was with a boutique law firm and charged a whopping £400 an hour. He had been recommended by a structured finance partner from a magic circle law firm, who made enquiries... Read more

Mr ABS pays a visit to 'Pammy from Southampton', who (among other things) helps expose a possible job offer. We have just had a welcome but pathetic quarter point rate cut. It is now in the public interest to put Mervyn King on a course of testosterone. Mervyn’s oestrogen-charged timidity aside, I’ve had a busy week. A former colleague of mine suggested that we meet in the City for drinks after... Read more

In which Mr ABS blames Mervyn King for Northern Rock, and attends another interview. It hasn’t been a good week for the ABS bankers of the world: I’ve heard of yet more casualties. Sadly, a lot of good names in our industry have been chopped. My definition of a good name is someone I would have been happy to work with/for (before the credit crunch, as I have now revised my... Read more

In which Mr ABS sidesteps the equities bomb and welcomes a wave of new faces to the land of joblessness. This week has certainly been a monumental one. Plummeting equity markets may not be good news for ECM bankers or corporate financiers, but they do at least make sense. While I was hopelessly watching the collapse of the ABS market during August and September, it was with total bewilderment that I observed... Read more

In which a job offer comes in sight, and just as quickly goes. It’s said that networking (or at least having a network of people who think you’re worth paying a large bonus to) helps a chap who’s down on his luck, and this week, I had first-hand proof of its benefits. A former colleague kindly arranged an interview for me with a fund. As it came via my ‘network', I... Read more

In which Mr ABS is deluged with self-help books as Christmas presents. Christmas is a stressful time for some, but fortunately not for me as I wasn’t on cooking duty. As a result, I enjoyed spending some quality time with my family, marred only by their choice of gifts. My mother-in-law takes her daughter’s welfare very seriously and thought that it would be appropriate to give me two books: Moving My... Read more

After losing his job, Mr. ABS is trying to come to terms with his new life – and fend off offers to become Father Christmas. Even though I saw things coming and have been living since September with the knowledge that I could be made redundant, I am nonetheless shocked that this has actually happened to me. For the moment, I’ve become a stereotype of the man who has lost his job... Read more

In which Mr ABS has a nasty encounter with some people in HR. This week I was planning to rant about the BoE and its refusal to accept ABS securities as collateral. I'm glad I didn’t draft anything in advance. However, more personal events have kept me away from rejoicing fully at the central banks' concerted actions. On Tuesday afternoon we were told that our team was going to be restructured and... Read more

Bankers are only human and need to be loved, says the anonymous ABS pro (who hasn’t been reckless regarding his mortgage). Our global head has paid us a memorable visit. My boss got global head-butted in the face. He had to clear his desk and leave on the same day. A few days later there was a meeting where two guys who I did not even have to report to were publicly... Read more

You can’t live on base salary alone, says the anonymous ABS professional. It’s unfortunate, therefore, that a bonus looks like wishful thinking. Last week I had a go at sub-prime lenders, but my main concern now is not to become sub-prime myself. My mortgage is reverting to my lender’s base rate next summer. There have been several BoE rate increases since I took out my mortgage and the consequences are starting... Read more

He works in the ABS department of a big bank. And in the first of a weekly series, he says the omens aren’t looking good. It’s now been in the financial press for more than a month that the bank for which I have the pleasure of working is going to make job cuts. Four weeks ago, one person from senior management ventured down to the pub where my team was having... Read more